What does a session entail?

Wait - I think I need to earn your trust a little bit more before I just leap into what goes on in a session…

So this is the part where I am explicitly clear about my sexual status and my motivations so you can get an idea of who you will be engaging with before you meet me…

Firstly I’d like to apologise. Men have stamped on women for thousands of years. Women kept the fires going, fed the tribes, they farmed, had babies, raised children, kept order AND went to war when necessary. And we felt threatened by your confidence so we stamped on you - you and the womb that bore our parents before us and will bear our children after us. And for this ignorant, ignoble and cowardly behaviour I am so very sorry. And I thank you for being from the side of the human psyche that gives birth to the world. You give our species this gift, daily, and we really don’t behave like we notice. We are way too wrapped up in our man stuff.

Mostly (I hope) we do not stamp on you like we used to. We’re not allowed to (though we often disregard the law and we hurt you. Again I’m so sorry).

We have been told we must co-exist with you as equals regardless of any preconceptions we may have about your gender, and that presents a massive problem to the collective male psyche.

We can ask you ‘to love and to honour’ us, ‘to have and to hold’ us… but we can’t really ask you to obey us any more. Though it still works for some. The new paradigm is on our doorstep.

But if we (men) don’t know who WE are if we’re not trying to control you, the masculine psyche fractures into two. I call them the gentleman and the pig.

And here’s the big secret…

The gentleman knows how to treat a lady. The pig knows how to treat a whore. And never the twain shall meet.

The result is that men who know how to treat you well emotionally; who are courteous and thoughtful, respectful, gentle, kind: they often don’t know how to take you, fling you on the bed, eat you like a carnivore, holding you down until your toes curl and then fuck you stupid while your eyes roll back in your head and you experience multiple (possibly gushing) orgasms…. they are gentlemen… and you are a lady.

And then there’s the pig… the pig knows how to do all that to you, and way more. He understands how your body works. He knows that you are greedy for him to take what he wants without ceremony, and without asking permission.

There’s a song I HIGHLY recommend at this point in the conversation - (mixed media input is the beginning of ‘disruptive technology’ so it’s encouraged you take the detour and don’t skip it.

Danger alert

But the danger of attracting a man like this is that he might actually rape you, or otherwise violate, hurt or betray you without your consent.

Reassurance… I see YOU…

Maybe this has happened to you already in your life and this is the reason you are here.

Maybe it’s something you’ve always wanted to experience but never been able to go through with because it felt too risky.

Maybe your womb space is sensitive to incoming energies to the degree you CAN’T go there with a man you haven’t already got to know through dating and trust building, and your yoni is starving while your brain cries, “No, I can’t.”

And then when you finally do, he turns out to be a gentleman in the bedroom as well as in the street and he just doesn’t know how to devour you like a wild animal, passionate and without remorse, shame or guilt… but you kind of knew this already. A pig would want to fuck you on the very first date. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

Have I got this right?

I believe that you may wrestle with two polarised sexual positions just like we men do. Where we (men) have not been able to unify or reconcile the gentleman with the pig, you have had to be a whore to meet the pig, and a virginal well behaved lady to meet the gentleman.

What I think you crave

is a man who NOT ONLY knows how to be a gent in the street and a pig in the bedroom, BUT who ALSO knows how to be the pig inside the SAFE CONTAINER of the gentleman at all times, even when he seems to be ALL pig and no gentleman at all.

You crave the man who knows how to hold you down (but gently),

who knows how to take what he wants (but only with your allowance),

who knows how to be ruthless (but not unkind),

who knows how to be confident (without being arrogant and without losing sight of you),

who knows how to make love to you like a woman, a queen, a priestess,

who knows how to fuck you to within an inch of your sanity like the whore that you are…


Who understands the dance between masculine and feminine, who knows how to make you feel treasured AND trodden on at the same time, who can whisper unspeakable things into your ear about all the things he’s going to do to you whether you like it or not,


who will NEVER take more than you are comfortable to freely and willingly give.

It is time for the gentleman to apologise to the whore. And it is time for the pig to devour the virgin… all within a container of pre-agreed structures that keep you safe whilst bringing your inner whore and your inner virgin into a marriage with each other as a reflection of the marriage of the gentleman and the pig that has occurred within me, your practitioner.

This is a tantric massage that promotes trauma release, the exploration of hidden desires, that has the potential to unite childhood damage, teenage rebellion, buried trauma, shame, fear and rejection together in the light of truth, where they can merge together into the tonic that will heal you. I may be a sexual alchemist. But, make no mistake, the ingredients are yours.

You already have everything you need. My job is to help you blend your ingredients while I manhandle you in the most delicious and intimate ways,

and TOGETHER we will explore the places you try to hide until you see how beautiful and precious they are.

These are the promises I make to you, gentleman pig to virgin whore.

So, on with the adventure…

What does a session entail?

Essentially we are both naked, and I climb about all over you, massaging from the soles of your feet, all the way up the backs of your legs, across your bum... I pay very careful attention to your back, your scapulae, clavicles and shoulder blades, and we are both pretty covered in oil so that I am massaging all of you with all of me...

By this point I will probably have a stonking erection, and I gently encourage you to breathe through the ripples in your body as i run my chest hair against your back, bearing down on you with some (or all) of my body weight, growling in your ear, whispering deliberately destabilising sentiments directly into your brain. This is essentially a tactic of bombardment and mental assault designed to temporarily suspend your regular brain function, forcing you down into your heart where you can meet me as I know you would like to. There are moments when you can hold onto my cock for comfort and security... you can clutch it, squeeze it, bring it close to you. But the container is strong.

Your sacred cunt

“Considered to be the most vile, obscene and vulgar ‘swear word’ in the English language; this word ‘Cunt’ in the vernacular means Vagina. Before it was twisted by patriarchy, the word was originally a term of respect and reverence for a powerful, spiritually enlightened woman .

‘Cunt’ derives from ‘kunda’ or ‘cunti’, a great Goddess of the Orient, symbolising the yoni ( vagina ) of the Universe, from where all life came and to where all life returns for renewal . From this same name the words ‘country’, ‘kin’ and ‘kind’ are derived.”

Now we’ve brought this splendid word back into its original context I trust you are ok with me saying…

There are moments where I've got your sacred cunt in the palm of my hand and with one finger I pick up your pulse through one of the veins in your neck or groin, and I squeeze and pulse your pelvic bone so that it falls in line with your heartbeat, essentially reminding your yoni that it is the entrance to a miraculous and ancient machine that can manifest not just a baby but ANY idea, wish, dream or hope you may wish to plant inside yourself (during your orgasmic rushes) that you would like to manifest in the near future. We will have discussed this in consultation.

And as you writhe and squirm and resist and surrender and fight and give in, the orgasmic energies of you creative womanhood can enter the womb space and continue to gestate there as a (seemingly invisible) vibrational scaffolding that will be the building blocks you need to attract all the dynamic forces your require, straight from the ether and into your amazing machine. Your womb space can make a baby in 9 months by magnetising everything it needs from Goodness only knows where. And if your womb space can manifest that, it can manifest anything. (If you have had a hysterectomy and no longer have a womb, rest assured you still have a womb space and we will work with that - this process does NOT exclude you.)

I then use reiki symbols to access universal energy forces that can help bring shifts and changes into your life while, on the physical level, it just feels like an incredibly tender and erotic massage...

That's a pretty accurate description of one of our sessions:  And then I wrap around you, the client, like a koala around a tree.

A) This isn't for me

B) Wow!  How does a session end?