PRELIMINARY REQUEST
Please review the materials on this page with an open mind and an open heart. Some of what you read may, at first, sound far-fetched. But the more you read the more you will understand that working with T.R.O.J.A.N Horse may substantially enhance your life.
Regardless of your sexuality, it is advisable that you read all sections pertaining to your gender, even if the content doesn’t seem to apply to you. Answers to the most essential frequently asked questions are embedded across the topics.
Whether you're just here to book a nurturing massage or whether you want to learn what you are truly capable of in the areas of your life where you feel you may have been limiting yourself, T.R.O.J.A.N Horse will have something for you.
ANCIENT HISTORY
For thousands of years, sensual massage has been used to harness the power of the cosmos. But in recent times the art has been almost forgotten. T.R.O.J.A.N Horse is bringing this sacred practice back to the world — a world in which men and women are remembering how to be warriors.
WHO AM I AND WHAT IS MY JOB?
I'm Simon: tantric sex coach, bodywork specialist and practitioner of trauma release and sex magic. I specialise in working with men and women who seek self empowerment through intimate touch.
MEN WHO IDENTIFY AS PREDOMINANTLY STRAIGHT:
There are a surprising number of predominantly straight men who wrestle with homosexual tendencies or homoerotic urges simply because part of their psyche needs to connect with something intimate and masculine. This doesn’t mean it needs to be sexual.
These desires are often pushed under the carpet because we don’t live in culture where it’s socially acceptable for two straight men to cuddle naked in a bed without also having to consider their ‘sexuality’ and keep what they did together a secret.
A straight man’s desire to be really close and intimate with another man could stem from all sorts of things that are non sexual: the loss of (or absence of) a brother or father figure, an overbearing or unkind matriarchal influence, adolescent hero-worship that never got properly fulfilled or explored, and prepubescent sexual molestation by an adult.
CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE
With this last example, most people (gay and straight men and women) who had a sexual experience inflicted on them as a child, have a seemingly inexpiable compulsion to revisit the memory again and again and use it as a secret masturbation fantasy… far more children are sexually abused than we have any record of — for obvious reasons: shame breeds secrecy and secrecy breeds silence.
The shame is often related to the horror a person feels that they were sexually excited at the time of the experience and that they are using their traumatic memory as a masturbatory fantasy tool. “There must be something wrong with me. I shall never speak of it.”
ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT EXPLAINED
But the truth is more simple: the psyche is simply trying to go back to the trauma point (where an immature part of our psyche has been frozen in time or arrested in its ability to move forward, hence the term ‘arrested development’.)
The adult psyche is attempting to make the memory something we actively choose to revisit in order to claim ownership of the narrative, thus releasing the traumatic imprint from the memory itself. But when we revisit the experience in a shameful way, it can lead to unwholesome fantasies of a darker and darker nature, like a record with a scratch where it keeps jumping back and replaying the trauma on a repeated loop, deepening the groove in the record until it has become a rut.
And, like a stone in the shoe, we walk around with it, limping, for the rest of our lives.
For a man who identifies as predominantly straight, it’s easy to mistake himself for a shameful closet bisexual or homosexual who just never had the balls to ‘do it’ with another man. But this is just the mind’s way of trying to make sense of something it does not have the processing tools to truly understand. Therefore these assumptions are, more often than not, incorrect.
Seeking to recreate the energy of the initial experience in a safe environment with a practitioner who can help you create an empowering narrative around what was (at the time) a violation, actually makes sense on the deepest levels of mental health. You thought you were a pervert? Maybe you’re a genius.
MEN WHO IDENTIFY AS PREDOMINANTLY GAY:
There is a big difference between ‘coming out’ and being comfortable with being the sexual being that you are.
COMING OUT
Men have been coming out since 1967 (before which, gay sex was considered as unwholesome and unacceptable as raping a child). I came out in 1995, almost 30 years after this momentous legal shift. I came out to my parents who were as supportive as if I had come out as straight. And then I went to WHSmith’s in Windsor and bought my first copy of Gay Times, in broad daylight, with the Queen of England possibly having a cup of tea right opposite me her unnecessarily large 2nd home.
THE ILLUSION OF FREE SEXUAL EXPRESSION
It would take another 15 years for me to feel comfortable with the truth of what it means TO ME to be gay… because there was just so much shame between me and what I believed to be a dark desire to have a nice big cock rammed down my throat and held there until I was struggling for air. The ‘acceptable’ way to be gay seemed to be to prance around at Pride like the little queen that I was when I first came out, shameless waving my rainbow flag but NEVER my willy.
BODY DYSMORPHIA
I was terrified that I was ugly naked, and angry that so many men seemed to be able to ‘fuck first and ask questions afterwards’ in situations where I was utterly paralysed and couldn’t begin to ask for what I truly wanted.
PORNOGRAPHY AND OTHER SEX DRIVEN ADDICTIONS
Porn was an easy fix. You can do it in private. You don’t have to put yourself out there, and risk humiliation through rejection, and shame has never been a problem for anyone using porn in private. In fact there is something rather delicious about having a shameful wank to some really piggy porn, where you get to live vicariously through the shameless greed and indulgence of the men you are masturbating to and wishing you were with.
The trouble with this (and certain other addictive sexual behaviours relating to clubbing, apps, cruising, drugs and alcohol,) is that while these habits sidestep the symptoms of paralysis, they actually encourage you to create an even wider gap between ‘love’ (which is reserved for boyfriends and husbands) and ‘sex’ which you are now only feeding your desire for through one or more of the addictive habits we touched upon above.
This is the cause of most types of sexual dysfunction in gay men - as soon as we fall in love, we shine the spotlight on the beauty of ‘love between men’ and we push our sexual desires further into the shadows. Here are some of the results:
porn addiction, sex addiction, erectile dysfunction, sex starvation, loneliness, sexless marriage, rape fantasy (very common), body dysmorphia and self inflicted sexual neutralisation (the energetic equivalent of chopping off your own balls.)
Learning how to become a proficient sexual energy handler is therefore a challenge, because we know what turns us on when we want to have a wank, and yet we don’t seem to be able to find it or to recreate it with a sexual partner. Internalised homophobia is usually at the route. And it’s very hard to spot for lots of men who are openly gay, because they have no shame in saying they are gay. However the shame that is still attached to actually being gay is another matter entirely.
Together we can explore where your blocks are and remove them one by one until you are united inside yourself and free from the shackles of the guilt and/or shame you have been wearing round your shoulders for most of your sexually active (or inactive) life.
WOMEN WHO IDENTIFY AS PREDOMINANTLY STRAIGHT:
If you have concerns about your sexual safety you should know that, in my personal life, I identify as gay, although during a session you would never know it! Women who have come to see me have all expressed (after the session), with wide sparkling eyes and a heavenly glow in their neck and on their face, that they have rarely (if ever) felt so safe being manhandled (sometimes ferociously - but only at their request) by a hot blooded very well endowed hairy beast, without any fear at all about their sexual safety being jeopardised. The experience is essentially straight. The container is gay. You are safe. You are explored, energetically devoured, recycled and reformed. And, above all, you are treasured by a practitioner who respects women and understands the battle that goes on within you between the sacred virgin and the holy whore, neither of whom can ever be the ‘whole’ you.
When you come to visit me, my job is to connect you more fully with the creative power of your sensual energy. We move from shamefulness, through shamelessness and FINALLY into shame freedom. Yes please!
WOMEN WHO IDENTIFY AS PREDOMINANTLY GAY:
I have to agree with you that you are not my most likely demographic BUT the gay women that benefit from this kind of work all have one thing in common: they are (without exception) tired of feeling that there is a barrier between them and the men in their lives. If you come to see me, it will come up pretty swiftly in consultation that you have suffered at some time in your life from being shut down by sexism, homophobia, sexual intimidation, marginalisation by men in the work place, an overbearing father, a horrific older brother, or some other kind of betrayal by a man (or the men) in your life that were supposed to have your back. Working with T.R.O.J.A.N Horse can teach you to face your fears around betrayal and forgive the masculine, not because we deserve it but because it releases you from the prison you create around yourself when you don’t forgive others for the wrongs that have been done to you. It is a hard path but, ultimately, deeply rewarding as it expels the trauma over time to allow real healing to occur within you.
PEOPLE WHO IDENTIFY AS TRANS:
If you don’t identify as male or female, you may feel excluded by being asked to choose whether you are a man or a woman. However if you feel comfortable to choose one of those two options, find your way to the centre of the maze and are still interested to talk to me when you get there, the door is open.
I have to be honest: I am less familiar with your psyche and how you feel about yourself in a world that is predominantly based in an outdated ‘gender binary’ narrative. I work with masculine and feminine energy and you have a beautiful mixture of both (just like everyone else) so this work can still benefit you enormously, provided you are prepared to teach me how you wish to be seen by me during our sessions. So, just as sexuality is not so important when we get into the depths of this wonderful work, neither is gender, and you are as welcome as everyone else.
HOW DOES A SESSION START?
The session starts with a 'clothes on' consultation - a relaxed chat sitting in my beautiful, spacious living room drinking a glass of lemon water to alkalise your blood. As we 'home in' on why you have come (and you may not know when you arrive), you will start to become a magnet for the type of lessons that will catalyse your spiritual growth in the areas of your life that have been starving for your attention.
THE SEVEN FREQUENCIES OF MANHOOD
Son; brother; father; warrior; lover; servant; king; we move energetically through the archetypal spectrum, dwelling only in the frequencies that make the connection stronger. As the power and connection grow, the chi in your base (cock and balls) will get more and more intense. It comes in waves. But it's connected to the Unified (or Zero Point) Field. So although the experience may give you an erection, it has nothing to do with sexuality or lust. Essentially we are both being plugged in to the power of the session. This is why your sexuality is not so important when you work with me.
THE SEVEN FREQUENCIES OF WOMANHOOD
Daughter; sister; mother; warrior; lover; servant; queen; we move energetically through the archetypal spectrum, dwelling only in the frequencies that make the connection stronger. As the power and connection grow, the chi in your base (yoni) will get more and more intense. It comes in waves. But it's connected to the Unified (or Zero Point) Field. So although the experience may give you deep internal orgasmic rushes, possibly even gushes, it has nothing to do with sexuality or lust. Essentially we are both being plugged in to the power of the session. This is why my sexuality is not so important when you work with me. It is also how I know I can guarantee your safety whist we explore some of the places you have always been scared to go with the men in your life, or even with yourself.
WHERE TO GO NEXT
Please click on the appropriate MAZE below and I will guide you, step by step, towards the centre where I am waiting to manhandle you right to the core. I'm also keen to talk to you. If you're serious about exploring your potential, tapping into the quantum field and expanding your masculine/feminine polarity through sensual touch and intimate massage and a series of conversational dialogues designed to blow the mind right open you will have no trouble finding me.
